Description

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning is a 2005 motion picture produced by five friends in a two-room flat with a small budget and the support of a few hundred fans and several dozen acquaintances. It is the seventh production in the Star Wreck movie series, and the first of professional quality and feature length. It is a dark science fiction comedy about domination of the world and the universe, and a parody of the Star Trek and Babylon 5 franchises.

The original version (“net version”) of the film is available as an authorized and legal download on the Internet under the Creative Commons BY-ND-NC license.

Members of the P-Fleet

• Captain/Emperor James B. Pirk, played by Samuli Torssonen. A semi-independent character based on James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard, his surname an amalgamation of the two, who amounts to a megalomaniac, egotistic and incompetent fool with incredible luck. He has an eye for tactics in ship-to-ship combat, but lacks any social abilities. The only reason he has ever advanced beyond Sub-Lieutenant are his tactical skills and his ability to keep discipline by bullying.
• Commander Info, played by Antti Satama. A parody of Data (Star Trek). He is basically an android (robot) with Asperger syndrome. He is always correct, and tends to annoy everyone around him. On 21st-century Earth, when he runs out of flesh-colored paint, he stops trying to disguise himself.
• Commander Dwarf, played by Timo Vuorensola. A parody of Worf. He is a psychotic Plingon alien who betrayed his people to join Pirk’s crew. True to his Plingon warrior background, he never showers or bathes. Famous for saying “Plingon warriors do not take showers!”, he is trigger-happy and eager for action even when it puts the objective at risk.
• Sergey Fukov, played by Janos Honkonen. A semi-independent character based on Pavel Chekov. He is the great-great-great-great-grandfather of the original Fukov in Star Wreck 1, 2, and 3. Before joining up with Pirk, he was a highly incompetent nuclear engineer at the Chernobyl nuclear plant. He is the only captain of the P-fleet to inflict more destruction on his own ship than on the enemy. As Emperor Pirk says, he is “a brain-dead piss-for-brains Soviet mutant”.

Members of the Babel 13 forces

• Captain Johnny K. Sherrypie, played by Atte Joutsen. A parody of John Sheridan (Babylon 5). He is the commanding officer of space station Babel 13 and likes making long-winded speeches and delaying decisions.
• Commander Susannah Ivanovitsa, played by Satu Heliö. A parody of Susan Ivanova. She is the sarcastic Executive Officer of the Babel 13. Her daily duties consist of reporting parking violations and enduring Sherrypie’s speeches. She bemoans the fact that her career seems to have stalled.
• Festerbester, played by Janos Honkonen. A parody of Alfred Bester (Babylon 5). He is a Psy-Co officer with a habit of commandeering ships, and he is a good tactician. He is played by the same actor who plays Fukov (just as Walter Koenig plays both Chekov and Bester).
• Security Chief Mikhail Garybrandy (Karigrandi), played by Jari Ahola. A parody of Michael Garibaldi, who also parodies Kari Grandi with some of his jokes and with the name. He is Babel 13’s head of security, and tends to drink at the most inappropriate moments.

Supporting characters

• President Ulyanov, played by Kari Väänänen. His name is a erence to Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Vladimir Lenin). He is the president of Russia—an honest, well-mannered politician with the best of intentions.
• Lieutenant Swagger, played by Tiina Routamaa. She is a parody of every exploited female officer in the history of science fiction. Lieutenant Swagger is the beautiful but ice-cold helm officer aboard the Potkustartti. Her tough composure only lifts on seeing Pirk in peril. She hates her uniform. (Some online sources, such as the user-edited IMDb, give her character the name Lt. Whip; she is not erred to by name on screen.)
• Ambassador Flush. A parody of Kosh Naranek, he utters idle comments in cryptic ways.